Tale of a Mary Sue
by cswoman
Summary: This is the story of a Mary Sue. duh Can our favorite Lioness stop her plot to take over Tortall?


AN? This was mostly just for fun, so I'm not sure if I'll ever get around to updating. I guess I just felt like showing people that I am still alive! (collective gasp)

It was a peaceful day in Tortall. Well, as peaceful as things got around there. Alanna wasn't on a quest, for once. George was not trying to rob somebody, for once. Jon was not trying to be a control freak, for once. Thayet was enjoying having a roof over her head. Liam was, well, dead.

While our characters we sitting around, being bored beyond all reason, little did they know things would soon change… for the worse. Horror music started to play, and all the characters looked at me oddly. Despite thins fact the music still continued, until I could see a vein throbbing in Jon's head. Then it stopped, and sighs of relief could be heard.

'Well," Alanna said, turning to George, "Now that she's stopped that music, what do you want to do?"

George, after several minutes of what seemed like careful consideration, but was really debating on what he wanted for dinner, said, "Let's go harass Jon!"

Alanna looked at him oddly as several readers backed away from their computer.

"Oh, not like that, I just meant we should go poke him repeatedly."

"Let's go!" Alanna said, sounding way too excited.

So, our lovely couple set of towards the palace, at a brisk walk.

"You could just give us a horse!" Alanna snapped.

So, I being the kind wonderful person I am, obliged. After several lightning bolts, which made me feel like Zeus, they were on their way again. George was whistling something that sounded like the love theme from Pocahontas, and Alanna was trying to figure out what the heck he was doing, when they reached the castle.

"Jon," Thayet called, from somewhere in the palace. Which, knowing the size of that place, could be anywhere.

"What?" he called back

"Alanna's here!"

At this point I'm going to pause the story to figure out where Thayet is. I know, I'm so neglecting. Oh, I got it! She on a balcony outside her room! Am I good or what?

After several minutes, during which there was much navigating, putting away horses, and congregating in the throne room, our story picks back up.

"Well, how've you been?' Jon asked.

"Very bored," Alanna stated flatly, 'It just isn't the same without some quest to go on."

"You could always go and try to stop the pages from fighting." Jon suggested, shuddering visibly at the thought.

"I'm not sure how that qualifies," George said.

Poor George, he never got to experience the joy of getting beaten by classmates. I'm sure Thayet feels his pain.

Alanna was about to explain to him that trying to get pages to stop fighting would be an absolute nightmare, when a wind banged the palace doors open. It swept around corridors, and made every one cough.

"Cheap perfume!" Thayet gasped, holding her nose.

Jon, it seemed, was the only one unaffected. Well, sort of. He kept breathing in deeply, and smiling lopsidedly. Thayet glared at me as if it was all my fault. It was, but her glares are scary!

The source of the stench soon appeared. An insanely tall girl appeared in the doorway. George fell out of his seat at the sight of her. She was stick thin, with wide eyes. They were so green, they glowed faintly. Scary. Her skin was paper pale, and her hair was bright red, and as long as her knees. She smiled, blinding everyone. I was okay, because I had sunglasses, but that's irrelevant.

After a couple minutes everybody could see again. Jon had a dreamy look plastered on his face, and the other three were looking horrified.

"Hi!" the scary girl said, "I'm Adrianali."

"Who?" George asked, finally picking himself up off the floor.

"Adrianali."

"What a name," Jon breathed, earning me another one of Thayet's glares.

Adrianali flipped her hair, causing Jon's nose to start bleeding. While Thayet, Alanna, and George edged away, Jon was trying to mop up the blood.

"Okay, she can't be human," Alanna muttered.

"She's not," George said, "I read about her kind once, I think she's a Mary-Sue."

More horror music started playing. The three sighed and waited for me to end it. I did.

"What's a Mary-Sue?" Alanna asked

"A perfect person. Every one is supposed to love her, which could explain Jon," George said, "but I'll need to test my theory."

He walked over to Adrianali and looked her in the eye.

"Canon," He muttered.

It worked, the girl screamed, and fainted. I laughed evilly! Jon had a panic attack and rushed to her side. Thayet glared at me. Again.

George returned to where the others were standing.

"Operation Decide-if-the-freakish-girl-who-looks-like-a-mary-sue-is-a-mary-sue is now complete." He said

Alanna gave him a look that very clearly said, "Brevity is the sole of wit."

George shrugged.

"Well," Thayet said, "Is she a Mary Sue?"

"Yes."

"Look, George," Alanna said, "I believe you and all, but if every one is supposed to love her, why don't we?"

"I'm guessing it's because we defy the status quo." The Baron of Pirate's Swoop said.

"Status cow?" both girls asked.

"Quo. What I mean is, if things went the way they always had Alanna wouldn't be a knight, I wouldn't be a Baron, and Thayet wouldn't have anything to do with Jon."

"Oh," Alanna snapped, not liking this "Status Cow" at all. "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"Well you said brevity was the sole of wit." George replied defensively.

"I didn't say that, my look did!"

"Okay guys, I think it's the same difference" Thayet said, butting in.

The group stood there staring at each other before I realized it had been ay too long without author interference. Suddenly, a lion with a fish in its mouth, walked across the room and out the door. Alanna and George cast each their bewildered glances.

"Hey," Alanna said, a light bulb appearing over her head, "Myles will know what to do!"

Whit that comment everyone filed out of the palace, leaving a dazed Jon and an unconscious Adrianali.

AN/ Tuh Dah! Please Review. All you have to say is thumbs up or thumbs down. It'll take 30 seconds!


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